Why Japanese Children Never Have Tantrums

Have you ever heard that Japanese children never have tantrums and always obey? In our culture it seems difficult to believe, so it is important that we take into account some aspects of it.

In Japanese culture they tend to have a lot of control over their emotions and they do not lose it in difficult situations and they have great respect for others. But what is most impressive in your culture is the great capacity for work and how children behave so perfectly in classrooms and at home , how can that be?

Self control

Japanese children tend to have a correct behavior, with good manners and do not have tantrums or lose control. They seem to have a well-controlled tolerance for frustration, and in the West we find that incredible!

In a society like ours, we find it hard to believe that they have achieved a society where self-control, temperance and respect are the most important all the time and at any age.

Do they have good parenting methods or do they act through fear? We tell you …

Japanese family

Japanese families have a very close relationship between all the members of the same, placing great value on the relationship between generations. The bond is full of affection and the elderly are respected above anything else because they are considered wise beings thanks to all their accumulated experience throughout their long lives.

On the other hand, the elderly always receive children and young people with affection because they consider them developing beings who must learn, so they have patience with them at all times. They become your guides.

But in addition to taking all this into account, families and Japanese society in general are very clear that limits are necessary. For example, they do not seek favors exchanges in relationships, each one is responsible for his or her life and grandparents will never take care of their grandchildren to do their parents a favor (either due to lack of time, wanting free time or even from being sick).

In families and in society, everyone has their place and must fulfill their responsibilities. Responsibilities that are well marked and that everyone must fulfill so that social and family balance is found all the time.

Parenting and sensitivity

You may still be surprised to learn that the upbringing of Japanese families is not marked by fear or authoritarian limits… but rather, by mutual respect and sensitivity. The screams will never be approved between relationships and therefore, they focus on respect for each other, while respecting the sensitivity that may be had at different times.

Parents only have to, through their eyes, disapprove of a behavior so that the child realizes that he has not done well and that he must rectify his behavior. They can use words to give more emphasis to the behavior and highlight it, but always with respect and without raising their voice. For example, they can use phrases like: “you have hurt him.” They try to highlight how bad behavior causes harm in some way … and that is why it should not be repeated.

Thanks to the fact that children from an early age learn to become aware of everything they have around them, they internalize more quickly what mutual respect is.

What can never be missing

What can never be lacking in a Japanese family is quality time between all its members. Parents strive to find quality time for their children among all their responsibilities. They prioritize that over anything else.

Although from the West it seems that his upbringing is distant, in reality it is the opposite. They are involved in creating close emotional bonds with their children. In fact, from their culture they do not understand how children can be mistreated or just yelled at.

When a Japanese woman is a mother, she takes her children everywhere with her and does not take them to school until she is 3 years old. This is to create deeper bonds between mother and children. In addition, they promote communication between family members. Family stories are told between generations that bring a great sense of identity to children, and family companionship and learning to listen to the words of others are also valued.

For all this, it is very difficult for a Japanese child to have tantrums, because they have millennia of advantage in terms of parenting from respect and deep love, as well as respect for the elderly and everything that concerns family life.

They understand that emotional explosions are not necessary, although we, in the West, see them as essential in order to understand emotions, give them a name and know that they are essential for life and for understanding it.